TV Wasteland aka Fuck You Sochi

No new episodes of Nashville, Law and Order: SVU, or Modern Family have aired since February 5.  Each Thursday morning I check Hulu plus hoping, praying, but am once again disappointed when it prompts me to Watch Again instead of bringing me new hijinx and escapades of Juliette Barnes, Detective Olivia Benson, and the entire Dunphee/Pritchet clan.  I've asked myself why and the only reason I came up with was the Winter Olympics.  Why air new episodes of beloved TV shows when the nation is transfixed by double axels and skiing with rifles? I WILL TELL YOU WHY TELEVISION EXECUTIVES: GAY RIGHTS AND PUSSY RIOT.  Some of us are boycotting Sochi due to Russia's egregious human rights record.  Don't you think we are the people who really enjoy Juliette Barnes country ballads and personal struggles? Wouldn't this have made a great episode of Modern Family; Cam and Mitchell both decide to boycott the games but Cam just can't keep himself from watching figure skating and sneaks over to Gloria's to watch it, but forces Manny to keep it a secret from Mitchell, hilarious misunderstandings ensue.  Wouldn't that just be delightful?
But no, executives, you chose not to capitalize on the boycotting audience. Shame on you. 

Law and Order:SVU's highly inaccurate portrayal of college life in New York City, from an alumni and a fan.

First may I state my endless devotion to Law and Order: SVU, while I mourn the loss of Stabler, Munch and now Captain Kragen I remain a loyal viewer as long as Finn Tutuola and our heroine Olivia Benson are still out there standing up for all that is right and just. As a long time viewer (often in marathon format) one can't help but notice the continuing theme of "ripped from the headlines" plots; fictionalized narratives based on actual current events.  Recent notable ones have included the Anthony Weiner, Paula Deen, and Trayvon Martin stories.  In the heartbreaking wake of seemingly endless reports of rapes on college campuses by athletes and fraternities, it seems Dick Wolf felt it only socially responsible to respond with episodes that addressed this hotbutton issue.  Ay but here's the rub: Law and Order takes place in Manhattan.  The two major universities in Manhattan are Colombia and NYU, fictionalized into Hudson and Tompkins Square University (really?).  The demographics don't add up. Here's why

*Sports-These are Division 3 schools, these athletes don't go on to join the NFL or NBA, they go to grad school.  Attendance at sporting events is notoriously poor. School spirit is non existent.  Athlete worship that would create a culture of permissiveness allowing for gang rape does not exist.  I went to NYU for four years and I don't even know if we have a football team...seriously? Do we? Can someone tell me or do I have to Google this?

*Greek life: 1. They don't have houses, they have floors of dorms.  So you can get shitwrecked in Palladium til an RA cuts if off, or you can just go out to a bar like a normal person CAUSE YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY and get roofied there.
2. Fraternities are a joke. They don't turn anyone away. They have to beg people to rush, and they are not populated by the charismatic, muscle bound "BMOC'/rapists" depicted on SVU.  They are filled with tiny Stern students who are afraid to talk to girls. I met only 4 frat members in my entire time at NYU and I was a head taller than all of them. Girls don't have to worry that they will be slut shamed and accused of "asking for it" by getting drunk at an NYU frat party, because they will never, ever go to an NYU Frat party.

In conclusion Go Violets? Or Bobcats? Which was it?

Never gonna dance again (to R. Kelly)

Guilty feeling that I'm complicit in the rapes of little girls.

I know what it's like to be very young and have a person of fame and power showing you attention and flattery, than pushing you further than you wanted to go.  Being too intimidated to say no.  He's a lot bigger than you, he's famous, you should want this. 

I was 18, not 14.  A freshman in college, not high school.  A suburban white girl, not from the southside of Chicago, and I'm still haunted.  I was still coerced.  They were children.  Not consenting adults.  Not empowered or developed enough to decide if this was something they wanted. They aren't "bitches, hos and tricks." They are eighth graders.  If I was in over my head at 18 and look back at what happened to me and can call it what it was; an assault, I can't imagine what they felt.

Article for the New York Observer

http://observer.com/2013/11/heel-the-world-pay-for-pain-shoe-guy-lets-women-walk-all-over-him/


Read it there

So a guy live tweeted his neighbor's break up

You can see it through the hashtag #rooftopbreakup

I've frankly lived way more entertaining break ups.  Some personal highlights include;

"YOU MADE ME WATCH GILMORE GIRLS!"

"Ok, so yes I slept with someone else, but you don't understand, I was fat in high school! Women throw themselves at me now."

"You think I'm dumb cause of my accent!"

"It's like we're from different worlds, you don't remember Three's Company!"*


*I do so remember Three's Company, from Nick at Nite.  This guy remembers vividly the originally airings of the episodes because he was really, really old and lived in the past.

***I've said/done some pretty fucked up, inane and insane things myself.  For which I'm very sorry but I will not be sharing until I get really desperate for attention...so in about an hour.

Look Whose Talking Redux: The Kirstie Alley comeback

In which Mikey is diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, and needs a transplant.  He finds out that John Travolta is not his real father, but rather that he is the product of an ill advised affair between his mother and her boss; misunderstandings, learning and hilarity ensue...

The "who is talking" is Mikey's tumor. He will be voiced by Kenan Thompson from SNL. He will provide hilarious commentary and he grows and spreads into Mikey's bloodstream.

I think it will be a hit. 

Scenes I want to see in the iconic 90s teen movie in my mind

90s teen movies were crap compared to the 80s (other than Clueless). They got Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, we got She's All That and Can't Hardly Wait.  Deeply unfair.  The best depictions of adolescence made in the 90s (again besides Clueless, the greatest movie of all time) took place in the 70s; Dazed and Confused and Freaks and Geeks. Well, it has been 20 years since 1993, it is time for the great 90s retro teen movie.  It should hit several marks including

1. A white girl (preferably blonde) very earnestly singing Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" at her school/summer camp talent show.

2. Only the rich kid has a cellphone.

3. Someone is referred to as an "alternachick"

4. Something nonconsensual happens while Dave Matthew's Crash or Lover Lay Down is playing.

5. A white guy with Dreads.

6. Bulimia, it's so 90s.

7. Shoplifting from Contempo Casuals.

8. Pictures of a young Leonardo Dicaprio posted in the girls' lockers.

9. Manic Panic dye jobs*

*Said it before I'll say it again.  This trend has returned. If you are old to enough to have done it the first time, you don't get to do it the second time.